The Entrepreneur Within

Proverbs 31:16 says
16: She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
The virtuous woman is a savvy investor. She uses her knowledge to create lucrative products that many can enjoy and benefit from.
I believe that inside every woman is an entrepreneur. It's the gift that God gives to us all for the sake of supporting ourselves and our dependents. God says that a good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children.
God never meant for us to struggle financially, and be without the things that we need.
He gave every woman the ability to produce something amazing and valuable enough that she can afford to live well off of what she earns, and even have some left over to invest.

Many women don't know this, therefore they never look closely enough at themselves to figure out what they do exceptionally well. Sometimes even when they do look, they don't recognize their special gifts because they really don't think those gifts are that special at all.

God says my people perish for lack of knowledge, and a lot of people suffer financially because they are unaware of the treasures they have within.

I've seen many women and their families live miserably due to lack. It can cause depressing and addictive behaviors that only make a bad situation worse, and that can be painful for everyone.

The good news is there is a way out of the cycle of poverty and even the stress of living paycheck to paycheck.
It's called entrepreneurship, and everyone has the power to do it.
I provide coaching to help women discover their gifts so that they can see just how valuable even the simple talents that they have can be. That way they can give those treasures the honor that they deserve.

God does not want us to hide or ignore the treasures that He has placed within us. He even calls it evil and wicked when we do, because when you fail to unearth your treasures and use them to create a good living for yourself, you cause yourself, your children, and all of the people who would be blessed by what you have to offer, to be deprived.
There is nothing glorious about ignoring the treasures or the entrepreneur within. There is nothing glorious about giving your treasures away. Some things are made to be given away, and some things should be honored for the thought, preparation, and excellence that went into creating and perfecting them. That is why God says a workman is worthy of his pay.

If you have been ignoring the treasures that God placed within you, or if you need help perfecting the treasures you've discovered, or even if you have been giving away the treasures that you have worked hard to perfect, then you may want to look into changing that. I am available to help. You can contact me for an on-line consultaion.
It is my hope that every virtuous woman will search for the entrepreneur within, so that the world won't miss out on the treasure that God has given her to present in abundance.
Love and Peace to all, and Remember to "Live Life Virtuously"

Learn to Spot the good Men

Proverbs 31:23 says
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
The Bible tells us that the virtuous woman who is the role model for Christian women,
was married to a man who had a good reputation, and who was respected by those in authority.

In all of the years that I have been working with women and discussing the things that trouble them, the number one issue that most women are challenged with is recognizing a man who would make a good husband.
Most every woman I've ever met wants a husband who will love her, cherish her, and stand by her in good times and in bad. She also wants a man who will be a responsible father, and provider and who will lead the family in a good and appropriate way.
For some women they have not often or even sometimes never been exposed to men of Godly standards and character. I've found that to be the case regardless of their economic situation and upbringing.
The challenge is knowing how to determine if a man is truly committed to making the daily effort to live according to the standards which have been set by God. It's not easy because most men are usually on their best behavior when there are no trials and tribulations to conquer. It's when life gets tough that that people show their weaknesses, fears, and insecurities.

Sometimes those things manifest in ways that are mentally, emotionally, and even physically abusive, and that is what leads to broken relationships and even broken spirits.

Knowing how to spot good men is not a characteristic that women are born with. It must be taught through wise counsel and sometimes even trial and error.

Even though many women have learned certain lessons the hard way, a lot of the common mistakes that most women make in relationships can be avoided, if the woman seeks the right information.

So is there a way to avoid the pain and damage that can result from two people connecting when one or both are not prepared and equipped to minister love and peace to each other rather than malice and confusion?

There absolutely is! God has provided guidance and instruction for women that gives them the power to be enlightened and protected from the pain that can come from not knowing who to trust with your heart.

There are certain characteristics of a man who honors God, and therefore has the ability to honor women out of his fear and reverence for God.
These are the kind of men who make good husbands and fathers.

It is up to the woman to make sure they can recognize these men in order to guard herself from the men who don't honor God.
Women should consider the fact that if a man does not respect God and his rules, how and why would he care about striving to be the kind of man that God requires him to be for you.

It is the respect for God's guidelines and standards that cause men to marry women and honor them rather than taking advantage of them. It is also those guidelines that help married couples weather the storms of of life, and ultimately experience the longevity and beauty of being a married couple.
God says my people perish for lack of knowledge. I say to any woman who wants to experience true love, it is wise to prepare yourself with the wonderful knowledge found in the principles that God has set concerning marriage in order to be a blessing to yourself, your husband, your children, and all those who witness your marriage union.

I've written a book where I share these wonderful principles in a practical and relevant way. It's called "5 Steps to the Alter"
I believe it's a must read for any Christian woman interested in preparing herself for marriage or even interacting with men. If that's you I recommend you get it today! It's in the bookstore at TonyaGlover.com.
I say to all women be wise, be safe, and live life virtuously!

For more information about my other books, instructional videos, coaching sessions, or other services, visit my website at TonyaGlover.com for information to help you with your beauty, business and spiritual balance.

Finding Your Passion

Proverbs 31:18 says that the Virtuous woman perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

The virtuous woman spent a lot of time developing herself and her craft. She didn't stop until she got things right.
It's beautiful to behold a woman who is filled with love, peace, and contentment.
Those special qualities come from personal development that is honed through countless hours studying God's love for us and how he equipped us with so many good treasures that we are to perfect and share with the world.
When a woman spends enough time developing herself, she becomes like the virtuous woman. She knows what she does well, and she has a vision for what she wants to accomplish for herself and for those around her.
She is passionate about what she does and she's passionate about doing it with excellence.
These qualities make a woman a pleasure to know and be around, because she is mature and most of all secure in who she is.
The Bible says, "Who can find a virtuous woman, she's rare like rubies."
Even though churches are full, apparently more women need to GROW in their understanding of God and of themselves.
That is when a woman will find her own God given passion and purpose.
Finding your passion is a process that takes focus and patience, along with trial and error. Many women don't know where to start, that's why
I offer in office coaching sessions to help guide you through the process.
If you are a woman seeking guidance to your personal development, I invite you to read my book called "Tap into Your Power." found at my website.
It offers Biblically based practical steps that can help women who are seeking growth to mature into the woman that God has called us all to be.

Proverbs 31:15 says She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

The Proverbs 31 woman is thoughtful,nurturing, and acts responsibly towards those in her household.
As busy wives and mothers it is so easy to get overwhelmed by the demands of life. There are only twenty four hours in a day, and we need eight to ten of those to get sleep as well as regroup by connecting our spirit to God for a recharge.

Sometimes when we feel short on time, it becomes necessary for some area of our lives to be trimmed.
Sadly it seems that when we feel something must be sacrificed we often look first to the people who mean the most to us, because we think that they love us, and they should understand.
Then we give our best efforts, time and energy to the people and things that come and go in our lives.

However, the virtuous woman shows us that this this approach is not the best one. Even with a husband and a demanding career, she makes her immediate family and her home life her first priority.
She actually has servants to help her with the prosperous life that she has built through her hard work and dedication. But in spite of that, she still stays very involved in how her household is run by waking up early to set the pace for productivity and excellence. She makes breakfast and daily agendas for her family and her maids.

It takes skill and excellence to manage many people, and that type of skill comes from doing, and practicing to become excellent enough to teach and oversee the productivity of others.

The Virtuous woman started developing and mastering these skills, not in the business world, but by being and excellent stuart over her household.

How ironic it might seem to some that it is the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our families that prepares us to be women who lead in business and in other areas of life.

Society is trying to convince so many women that our respect comes from being a business diva of sorts, but God's word says that our respect comes from loving and prioritizing our family.
If you want to experience a fun way to practice your home leadership skills that will make your family feel loved, nurtured, and prioritized by you, try cooking them a delicious meal. If you're not a great cook, no problem. Check out one of my instructional cooking videos on TonyaTV.com
My videos make cooking gourmet meals simple and easy to do.

Try this lasagna recipe, it's delicious, and remember to live life virtuously!

Permission to save your Marriage

There was this wife whose husband left her for another woman when she was four months pregnant with their fourth child. She was a young, beautiful, Christian, woman with a gentle spirit, and she seemed to be a model wife.

It was clear that the ordeal was painful for her. Her baby is only seven months old at the time she shared her story, so naturally her wounds were still fresh. However, I was impressed by the fact that she wrote a letter to the other woman to express her pain, which I thought was good for her healing.

In the letter she was not mean or rude at all, she was just honest. She told the woman about her pain and her crushed dreams of not getting to be happily married for life, and she asked the woman how she could feel o.k. about taking a man from his family, and she told the mistress that she herself deserved better than a man who would walk out on his wife and children.

I agreed whole heartily and I truly think that as women we must not only have love and good wishes for ourselves, but for other women as well, and it takes God to help you with that.

In a desperate attempt to save her marriage, the woman admitted that she grabbed her husbands ankles as he was leaving her, and begged him not to go.
This statement caused her to be judged by many who heard her story, particularly women who were single and who had never been married. They made it seemed like she made a fool of herself by doing that.

I'm sure that the sighs and looks caused the woman to feel emabarrased, and to question her self worth. Upon seeng that I decided to write this entry because there are so many women who allow themselves to be influenced by the comments of others when it comes to making decisions concerning their marriage and I think that is the worst thing a married woman can do.

Now I know realize being in a state of desperation is not a pretty sight, and it's very sad to imagine this woman being pregnant, and drug down the hallway as she held on to her husband, crying for him to stay, BUT because it was her marriage, as far as I'm concerned, as a wife, she reserves the unquestionable right to do what ever she felt necessary in order to feel satisfied that she had done all that she could do to make it work, since it obviously meant that much to her.

I think that too many times in marriages people feel pressure from others to make decisions to "save face" rather than to communicate what is truly in their hearts.

No one is in position to tell any married person what is too much concerning fighting to keep their marriage. Marriage is not dating. There is much more invested, and much more to loose.
The promise is for better or for worse, and some people say that and actually mean it, therefore they are willing to humble themselves and work it out. That should be commended not criticized.

I was proud to see that she did do something. She didn't just stand there and hand him over. I think that with the high epidemic of infidelity, some wives must be making it way too easy for women to waltz off with their husbands.

The marriage vows say "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."
It is off limits for any of us to condemn or harshly judge someone for loving their spouse unconditionally, that's what they are supposed to do.

Marriage is sacred and holy and anyone bold enough to put themselves in the middle of what goes on between a man and his wife is putting themselves at odds with God, and that includes everyone from the condemers to the other man or the other woman.

The point that I really want to share with married women is, when it comes to your marriage you have the right to want it, and fight for it, even when it's imperfect.
You have the right to forgive your cheating spouse and take them back if you want to.
It is your decision and you don't have to explain it to anyone.

There is no such thing as looking stupid when it comes to your husband.
You look stupid when you fight for your boyfriend of 20 years, not the person you promised your life to for better or for worse.

If you loose, and he still walks away and leaves you, at least you can rest in knowing that you gave it your best, and you kept your end of the marriage agreement.

In the case of this woman, every one was looking at the fact that her husband cheated on her. They felt he was no good, and she should let him go. But that woman was looking at all of the love she had for him, her dreams for their future, and the fact that she had four children with that man.

She was looking at the investment of her time, her love, and her life. If in her mind all of that was worth begging and pleading for, then by all means she should have done what she felt she had to do. Even though things didn't turn out the way that she had hoped, she still doesn't have to justify herself to anyone, especially those who try to minimize the beauty of marriage by saying it never works. Those are the people who lack the courage to try it, because they are afraid to fight for what they are worth.

Shopping Addiction is Really Discontentment!

I saw this woman on television today who had a shopping addiction. She and her husband were in nearly $140,000 worth of debt. He made a good living and they had decided that she'd be a stay at home mom and raise their six children. They lived in a really elegant home in a lovely community in California, and according to his income, the money was there to support their life styles, it was just poorly managed.

The problem was she would shop continuously to buy things that they didn't need. On top of that she had a passion for having yard sales which made her the star of the neighborhood, because she sold valuable, barely used, items for less than a fraction of their costs.

She also spent money to the tune of two to four thousand dollars for things like birthday parties for the kids and artistic paintings on the walls of her home. All that luxurious spending, and there was no health insurance for herself , her husband, or their six children.

It was hard to believe that she had six children because she was in terrific physical condition and everything from her hair to her clothes was as well groomed as any of Hollywood's elite.

Her husband had given her control of the money even though she was clearly out of control, and frankly in spite of it all, I could appreciate the fact that she was able to openly admit that she had a problem and she was indeed asking for a solution.

I always think that no matter what a person's dilemma, if they are humble enough to ask for help and listen for a solution from a qualified source, then people should cease to judge.

The financial expert who was there to help had already analyzed their situation and decided that they were in crisis and they needed to immediately sell their home, move to a less expensive state, and that she should get a job at Starbucks to assist with her latte indulgence, and their family's need for health insurance.

I thought it was good that the financial expert had a plan for them to get out of debt, however, I could not help but feel that even though they had a step by step plan to move in a better direction, they needed to identify why she wanted to self destruct in the first place, or she would just repeat the same process in the new city.

These days experts offer solutions by telling people the proper procedure to produce a certain desired result, and sometimes that is the answer. Sometimes people are in bad situations because they simply don't know the correct way to achieve their goals.
However, in the case of this couple I don't think that not knowing how to budget was their family's biggest and most urgent problem.

From looking at the situation, I thought that the woman like so many people was just discontent and simply hated her life.
She was a glamorous and beautiful woman who obviously placed a lot of value on how she looked. Her husband was an ordinary looking guy, who I'm sure loved her because she was so beautiful, that she made him look better just for having good taste. She was perfectly fit, and he was super average, but neat and clean.

He obviously was willing to work hard and give her access to everything he had, and it seemed as if she took his money and tried to buy enough excuses to justify being with a man who she cared about, but had no passion for.

He could clearly see her destructive spending, but I'm sure he was afraid to confront it, because he really didn't want to do anything that might cause him to loose her, because she is his prize because of her beauty. but the embarrassing debt that her spending had gotten them in was causing some visible resentment from him.

I know that women can be attracted to and fall in love with a man who is not necessarily physically their type, if the guy has other qualities, like being a good provider, a good protector and a good leader, but if he lacks "the look", and he lacks a backbone, there is nothing sexy about that. So I'm sure he is turning her off, and that can make for an unfulfilled and unhappy marriage, which I'm sure explains her need to get high from shopping. I think they could definitely benefit from some counseling where they both can be honest about what they need from each other in order to stay inspired to be married.

The good news is that through her shopping addiction, she discovered her passion to sell things, She said that on the nights before her yard sales, she gets so excited that she can't sleep.
She has her sales about four times a year, and she goes so far as to strip every one's closets almost bare in order to have merchandise. After she sells every one's clothes in the house, she uses her credit cards to buy them new clothes which they wear for a while until she sells them at the next yard sale. All of that screams to me that buying and selling is her passion, and that's what retail store owners do. I think she needs to go into business and own her own high end retail store.
She even looks like she would do something exactly like that for a living.
From what I could see, they did need a financial plan to help correct some of the damage that has been done to their wallets, and to help them prioritize their spending, but they also need to dig a little deeper to find and examine the root of their self-destructive behavior as well.
Accepting Jesus Christ as you Lord and Savior, and asking God to forgive you of your sins and come into your life and guide you into becoming the person who He created you to be, is the key to discovering the true desires of your heart. Without knowing our true desires we will create miserable lives for ourselves, and we will subconsciously do things to destroy that life we've built on our own, because it won't be what we truly want. Learning helpful procedures are good but you won't be able to keep them up until you get to the root of why you are unhappy, and only God can help you with that!