I saw this woman on television today who had a shopping addiction. She and her husband were in nearly $140,000 worth of debt. He made a good living and they had decided that she'd be a stay at home mom and raise their six children. They lived in a really elegant home in a lovely community in California, and according to his income, the money was there to support their life styles, it was just poorly managed.
The problem was she would shop continuously to buy things that they didn't need. On top of that she had a passion for having yard sales which made her the star of the neighborhood, because she sold valuable, barely used, items for less than a fraction of their costs.
She also spent money to the tune of two to four thousand dollars for things like birthday parties for the kids and artistic paintings on the walls of her home. All that luxurious spending, and there was no health insurance for herself , her husband, or their six children.
It was hard to believe that she had six children because she was in terrific physical condition and everything from her hair to her clothes was as well groomed as any of Hollywood's elite.
Her husband had given her control of the money even though she was clearly out of control, and frankly in spite of it all, I could appreciate the fact that she was able to openly admit that she had a problem and she was indeed asking for a solution.
I always think that no matter what a person's dilemma, if they are humble enough to ask for help and listen for a solution from a qualified source, then people should cease to judge.
The financial expert who was there to help had already analyzed their situation and decided that they were in crisis and they needed to immediately sell their home, move to a less expensive state, and that she should get a job at Starbucks to assist with her latte indulgence, and their family's need for health insurance.
I thought it was good that the financial expert had a plan for them to get out of debt, however, I could not help but feel that even though they had a step by step plan to move in a better direction, they needed to identify why she wanted to self destruct in the first place, or she would just repeat the same process in the new city.
These days experts offer solutions by telling people the proper procedure to produce a certain desired result, and sometimes that is the answer. Sometimes people are in bad situations because they simply don't know the correct way to achieve their goals.
However, in the case of this couple I don't think that not knowing how to budget was their family's biggest and most urgent problem.
From looking at the situation, I thought that the woman like so many people was just discontent and simply hated her life.
She was a glamorous and beautiful woman who obviously placed a lot of value on how she looked. Her husband was an ordinary looking guy, who I'm sure loved her because she was so beautiful, that she made him look better just for having good taste. She was perfectly fit, and he was super average, but neat and clean.
He obviously was willing to work hard and give her access to everything he had, and it seemed as if she took his money and tried to buy enough excuses to justify being with a man who she cared about, but had no passion for.
He could clearly see her destructive spending, but I'm sure he was afraid to confront it, because he really didn't want to do anything that might cause him to loose her, because she is his prize because of her beauty. but the embarrassing debt that her spending had gotten them in was causing some visible resentment from him.
I know that women can be attracted to and fall in love with a man who is not necessarily physically their type, if the guy has other qualities, like being a good provider, a good protector and a good leader, but if he lacks "the look", and he lacks a backbone, there is nothing sexy about that. So I'm sure he is turning her off, and that can make for an unfulfilled and unhappy marriage, which I'm sure explains her need to get high from shopping. I think they could definitely benefit from some counseling where they both can be honest about what they need from each other in order to stay inspired to be married.
The good news is that through her shopping addiction, she discovered her passion to sell things, She said that on the nights before her yard sales, she gets so excited that she can't sleep.
She has her sales about four times a year, and she goes so far as to strip every one's closets almost bare in order to have merchandise. After she sells every one's clothes in the house, she uses her credit cards to buy them new clothes which they wear for a while until she sells them at the next yard sale. All of that screams to me that buying and selling is her passion, and that's what retail store owners do. I think she needs to go into business and own her own high end retail store.
She even looks like she would do something exactly like that for a living.
From what I could see, they did need a financial plan to help correct some of the damage that has been done to their wallets, and to help them prioritize their spending, but they also need to dig a little deeper to find and examine the root of their self-destructive behavior as well.
Accepting Jesus Christ as you Lord and Savior, and asking God to forgive you of your sins and come into your life and guide you into becoming the person who He created you to be, is the key to discovering the true desires of your heart. Without knowing our true desires we will create miserable lives for ourselves, and we will subconsciously do things to destroy that life we've built on our own, because it won't be what we truly want. Learning helpful procedures are good but you won't be able to keep them up until you get to the root of why you are unhappy, and only God can help you with that!
The problem was she would shop continuously to buy things that they didn't need. On top of that she had a passion for having yard sales which made her the star of the neighborhood, because she sold valuable, barely used, items for less than a fraction of their costs.
She also spent money to the tune of two to four thousand dollars for things like birthday parties for the kids and artistic paintings on the walls of her home. All that luxurious spending, and there was no health insurance for herself , her husband, or their six children.
It was hard to believe that she had six children because she was in terrific physical condition and everything from her hair to her clothes was as well groomed as any of Hollywood's elite.
Her husband had given her control of the money even though she was clearly out of control, and frankly in spite of it all, I could appreciate the fact that she was able to openly admit that she had a problem and she was indeed asking for a solution.
I always think that no matter what a person's dilemma, if they are humble enough to ask for help and listen for a solution from a qualified source, then people should cease to judge.
The financial expert who was there to help had already analyzed their situation and decided that they were in crisis and they needed to immediately sell their home, move to a less expensive state, and that she should get a job at Starbucks to assist with her latte indulgence, and their family's need for health insurance.
I thought it was good that the financial expert had a plan for them to get out of debt, however, I could not help but feel that even though they had a step by step plan to move in a better direction, they needed to identify why she wanted to self destruct in the first place, or she would just repeat the same process in the new city.
These days experts offer solutions by telling people the proper procedure to produce a certain desired result, and sometimes that is the answer. Sometimes people are in bad situations because they simply don't know the correct way to achieve their goals.
However, in the case of this couple I don't think that not knowing how to budget was their family's biggest and most urgent problem.
From looking at the situation, I thought that the woman like so many people was just discontent and simply hated her life.
She was a glamorous and beautiful woman who obviously placed a lot of value on how she looked. Her husband was an ordinary looking guy, who I'm sure loved her because she was so beautiful, that she made him look better just for having good taste. She was perfectly fit, and he was super average, but neat and clean.
He obviously was willing to work hard and give her access to everything he had, and it seemed as if she took his money and tried to buy enough excuses to justify being with a man who she cared about, but had no passion for.
He could clearly see her destructive spending, but I'm sure he was afraid to confront it, because he really didn't want to do anything that might cause him to loose her, because she is his prize because of her beauty. but the embarrassing debt that her spending had gotten them in was causing some visible resentment from him.
I know that women can be attracted to and fall in love with a man who is not necessarily physically their type, if the guy has other qualities, like being a good provider, a good protector and a good leader, but if he lacks "the look", and he lacks a backbone, there is nothing sexy about that. So I'm sure he is turning her off, and that can make for an unfulfilled and unhappy marriage, which I'm sure explains her need to get high from shopping. I think they could definitely benefit from some counseling where they both can be honest about what they need from each other in order to stay inspired to be married.
The good news is that through her shopping addiction, she discovered her passion to sell things, She said that on the nights before her yard sales, she gets so excited that she can't sleep.
She has her sales about four times a year, and she goes so far as to strip every one's closets almost bare in order to have merchandise. After she sells every one's clothes in the house, she uses her credit cards to buy them new clothes which they wear for a while until she sells them at the next yard sale. All of that screams to me that buying and selling is her passion, and that's what retail store owners do. I think she needs to go into business and own her own high end retail store.
She even looks like she would do something exactly like that for a living.
From what I could see, they did need a financial plan to help correct some of the damage that has been done to their wallets, and to help them prioritize their spending, but they also need to dig a little deeper to find and examine the root of their self-destructive behavior as well.
Accepting Jesus Christ as you Lord and Savior, and asking God to forgive you of your sins and come into your life and guide you into becoming the person who He created you to be, is the key to discovering the true desires of your heart. Without knowing our true desires we will create miserable lives for ourselves, and we will subconsciously do things to destroy that life we've built on our own, because it won't be what we truly want. Learning helpful procedures are good but you won't be able to keep them up until you get to the root of why you are unhappy, and only God can help you with that!
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